4 or 14?

Sometimes she tells me she's more like a 14-year-old than a 4-year-old because of the way she acts and the things she can do. Now I find this picture taken by my sister when she was with her during our family vacation this year and she really looks like it! Makes me wonder what she's listening to? Hmmmm. My brother also gave Miranda his old MP3 player as a parting gift when he left for China. She calls it an "accordion." Luckily she's still a 4-year-old once in a while.

fine...pictures of the growing belly

Some crazy people have been bugging me about putting up pictures of my "progress" into giantness. So here you go:

"Waddling" after Sammy. My legs are still skinny grandpa legs...the pants don't show the bird-like contrast between the belly hemisphere and the stick legs.



Sort-of covered by the life-jacket...but you still see the bulge there.



Probably the best shot I have as of now...this was a couple weeks ago at our family reunion. My cute cousin Lanea (born the SAME DAY SAME HOSPITAL as ME!...my twin) who is about to have a baby the beginning of next month is smaller than I am? I am not due until the beginning of Dec. so I hope you can appreciate I have a ways to go. I wasn't going to post this one thinking my face looks a bit puffy, but then I admitted it IS a bit puffy so here I am.

But let me emphasize that I am really, really grateful for all of these changes and "increases" because it means something wonderful is happening and that I am very blessed. I'm just "swelling" with gratitude.

how do people do this?

People grow up and go away to school, and they even move away from their families, far, far away, FOREVER, and this is just a part of life. But I don't like it that much. Miranda told us the other day that she would have to move out when she got older, but she would live next door. And I almost made her sign a contract right then because HOW CAN PEOPLE STAND IT?

I know many of you whose blogs I read and who have some minute chance of reading this (after I've chased you away with my lack of regular posting, posts about tasteless jokes that are only funny to me because I spend a lot of time with toddlers, and other poor blogging decisions) live far away from your family of origin so maybe you will be able to shed light on this phenomenon. I mean, my own husband falls in your ranks and he seems to survive I suppose. Although I miss my inlaws SO much sometimes that I get the feeling for how it must be.

My meanderings on the topic stem from my brother and sister-in-law's recent move BACK to China for 2 years. It has been BRUTAL. Nevermind that I am currently pregnant= hormones=I laugh about NOTHING until I cry, and cry about EVERYTHING. I could barely speak for a week before they left because I was so sad about them leaving that I basically would have started bawling whenever I tried to squeak out a word.

It was bad enough that they used to have to travel back and forth when it was just Patrick and Xiao Yu, because they are so fun and make up most of what we once called our social life and now call "what we do during whatever time we're not doing the other stuff that we do." But now, they take an adorable, roundy-nosed little squishface 4+ month old with them!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to L.A. or even NYC or even London. TO CHINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For 2 YEARS!!!!!
Come on people.
But I love them and I appreciate that it is ONLY 2 years for now, and that the purpose is good. I felt much better after I heard the story of Lucas' Chinese Grandmother watching him sleep all night the first night because she was so in love with him and she hadn't been able to see him do all of the adorable things we had. But then I feel worse again sometimes, like...

• When we get to Sunday dinner at the Belnap's and I feel weird about sitting in their seats and there is no baby in the swing next to the table. :( (Yes I am already crying while typing this.)
• When we think about doing something fun and then think how it won't be as fun because they're not with us.
• When I go downstairs in the Belnap's and they are not in their room but a bunch of stuff that reminds me of them IS! (I have only done this once and will NOT be doing it again.) (How will I handle my kids going on missions?!!)
  
• There are lots more but ESPECIALLY....When Sammy asks me every day if he can see Lucas, and when we come into Grandma and Pa's house and the first thing he does EVERY TIME is look around for Lucas, ask for Lucas, tell us Lucas is downstairs and will not believe any dissent from that fact, and, today, after hearing AGAIN that Lucas won't be here for a long time and that he is in China, saying, "I wanna go dere" over and over again.
  

I can't take it. And now I'm about to wax religious but I don't know how people can handle separation, and this isn't even the hard kind that some people are handling right now with their loved ones passing, or being away at war, or having family that doesn't want to or wont see them...
I don't know how you can do it without a knowledge that there is something beyond this life, this temporary existence, where there will be no shortage of time available to experience wonderful feelings and experiences, and potentially no separation from those we love most. That information is the greatest gift I can think of, which makes me think I should be telling other people about that more than I am.

Good thing I sat down to write this. Isn't it nice when you receive insight from your own process of writing down things you need insight on? Another blessing to count.

But I can still miss them and cry about it sometimes, right?

the power of a book

I bought a book for 25 cents at the library about a princess for Miranda and one picture shows her having to put on tons of uncomfortable layers and then she turns out to be a big poofy stiff princess...the end of the book shows how her favorite outfit is just her pajamas or something. ANYWAY.
Miranda came and showed us her version, involving every pajama shirt she has to recreate the puffy princess. I love books.

Here she is telling the tale in her own words: