Soccer mom

So, I'm not the most athletic person. Is this an understatement? Perhaps. Perhaps it is more accurate to say that I'm not the most coordinated person ever, even though I do enjoy being active. Anyway, you'd think all of this would make me the ideal soccer mom...you know, low expectations, quick-to-cheer.

Well, I do cheer easily but I've found myself getting stressed at Miranda's games! I know I need to work on this because in the period of 2 days I read a blog post about a friend who is really positive and happy at her son's games, and an article by a mom who reads books at her kids' games to ensure she doesn't get too involved.

I think my problem has been that Miranda has always taken to thinks quickly and easily and has been just a bit beyond her years in some ways. That hasn't exactly been the case with soccer. So far. Fernando says that Cesar, our amazing soccer player brother, didn't really show a lot of competetive interest for the first few years.

The truth is, I really don't care if she likes soccer or not or if she's good at it or not. I'm not sure why I feel anxious at the games! I wonder if I'm falling into the trap of thinking that my less developed soccer genes have cursed her and that I've got to help make up for the difference.

I think it will balance out my "wonderful motherhood" post of a while ago when I say this: During the 3rd game, before we got out of the car for the field, I said, "Just play you best. And Miranda?"
"What mommy?"
"Just enjoy yourself, okay?"
"Mom, I promise to enjoy myself, and you promise not to get upset with me."
TRUE CONVERSATION! Can you believe it!?! I'm a horrible person! Aren't ego-involved fathers supposed to be responsible for such treatment?!

Of course I assured her that I was never upset and apologized and I have been better since. And, she's been better at playing since then too! (Meaning, she runs after the ball vigorously for at least 15 seconds at least 2 times during the game.)

Miranda kept telling me she wanted to play soccer, so I signed her up, even though she was a bit young. She's definitely the youngest on her team and probably on the field at every game. The players' parents all seem to appreciate the entertainment she provides. Her most exciting moments of the game are when her coach tells her she can sit on the side with her mom and rest. She does actually love to be a part of the team and she actually even enjoys the practice...kicking the ball into the goal and passing the ball to her teammates. And she gets that you don't touch the ball with your hands. So, it's just the part where she's trying to keep up with a Poynesian kid who is a foot-and-a-half taller than her and also almost 5 years old that she doesn't like. Can you blame her?

I've told her things to try and help her stay in the game. I told her that her foot was a magnet and it had to stick to the ball. Nope, didn't work. I told her that she had to follow the leader of one of the players on her team. She chose the blonde girl who languidly does handstands on the field and, like Miranda, would rather be on the sidelines with her mom. I told her she had to stick to a person on the OTHER team. She did great on that one! She even went over with him to their team huddle during halftime and stayed on his side of the line during the kickoff. I told her she had to get the ball from the other team and not let them get it. She was thinking intensely about this one, and after the final whistle blew and the game was over, she basically wrenched the ball out of this little girl's hand and almost got in a post game brawl. She has been tripped and fallen on, tripped over, and elbowed in the face. Why am I doing this to my little girl??!!!

I tell myself she'll get a little exercize, learn the beginnings of being on a team and of soccer's rules, and that she'll eventually at least learn to play a little bit. Then when people ask her if she plays a sport, she'll be able to say "I've always played soccer." And she'll always feel a part of her extended family who all have always played soccer. And we'll have something to laugh about when she's older and we remember this first experience with soccer.

More likely, I just should have forgotten about soccer this year and waited until next. I wonder often how much my children will have to suffer in life because of mistakes like this made by their mother, or because of my personality flaws. I don't remember much from when I was two so I tell myself that at least she won't accutely remember the mistakes I'm making right now. Then I heard about a woman who remembers every single moment of her life and I thought, well, I should probably do better. On a selfish note, I actually am grateful that I'm learning right now to just take it easy when it comes to my kids' extracurriculur involvement. I'm learning to actually enjoy that she spends the majority of the game doing stuff like this:

(I call it field ballet) because she'll grow out of that so fast. Too fast.
And I try to also celebrate those moments, however brief and far between, when she's having fun and trying and feeling proud of herself. And I've realized that no brilliant soccer experience is going to make her glad that I got "upset" with her. I think if I can learn that, I'll be a better soccer mom from here on out, and it might just help me to be a better person too.



On a side note, Sammy seems to love soccer. He babysprints to either the ball or the net every chance he gets out of my arms, But I won't have to address that for quite awhile.